So the other day my son took a rather large shit.
He looks over at me and says, "Oh no...what happened?"
Then he grabs his bum and says, "Butt. Butt."
This is the stuff proud moms are made of.
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Well Read/Read Well
I've been reading the SHIT out of some Jennifer Weiner books lately. I like this phase of my life where there isn't a dust-less text book in sight! The day I was handed my Master's Degree I vowed NO MORE SCHOOL NO MORE DEGREES NO MORE TEACHER'S DIRTY LOOKS. I felt I went as far as necessary in the school system. I had graduated 19th grade.
or something like that.
In the future, I may take a class or two. Maybe get a certification in something, someday. But I feel as though I've really lived and experienced all I need to -in terms of school -from dorm rooms to all night study parties to writing papers, giving speeches to researching to paying outrageous amounts of money for books/tuition/parking/room/board...
When I got prego-liscious I was ABOUND with pregnant-related books. Parenting how-to's and OH MY GOD the websites! the mom blogs! the mom boards! the momversations!
How much mom-galore can one handle!!??
Aside from reading the occasional article on personality disorders or a new study on anti-depressants to stay *current* in my field...
I'm on to CHICK LIT.
It's a wonderful thing.
And apparently I'm not the only one who enjoys herself a bit of chicky reading. I'm number 84 on the wait list for the newest Jennifer W. book at the library! I can't wait!! I'm a dork!!
And what's a post w/o a picture of my sweet? (that's for you mom! ;)
or something like that.
In the future, I may take a class or two. Maybe get a certification in something, someday. But I feel as though I've really lived and experienced all I need to -in terms of school -from dorm rooms to all night study parties to writing papers, giving speeches to researching to paying outrageous amounts of money for books/tuition/parking/room/board...
When I got prego-liscious I was ABOUND with pregnant-related books. Parenting how-to's and OH MY GOD the websites! the mom blogs! the mom boards! the momversations!
How much mom-galore can one handle!!??
Aside from reading the occasional article on personality disorders or a new study on anti-depressants to stay *current* in my field...
I'm on to CHICK LIT.
It's a wonderful thing.
And apparently I'm not the only one who enjoys herself a bit of chicky reading. I'm number 84 on the wait list for the newest Jennifer W. book at the library! I can't wait!! I'm a dork!!
Thursday, October 21, 2010
on mom-guilt
I've prided myself on not experiencing The Mom Guilt.
Until now.
Before motherdom, I always dismissed the experience another mom-friend would have regarding guilt. "Guilt is a useless emotion." "WHY would you EVER feel guilty for returning to work?" "WHY do you feel guilty for setting boundaries and enforcing rules with your child?"
And I still see those things as true. but DAMN. The guilt knows no boundaries and has reached the likes of me.
Took me awhile to realize it, but these feelings I've been having are, indeed, guilt. I've been good at masking them, rationalizing them, and even denying them.
But Enough! with the Freud coping skills! I am now up to my ears in guilt. And I fully admit it. Step One.
"We admitted we were powerless over guilt -that our lives have become unmanageable."
What exactly do I feel guilty about? Let me count the ways...
1. That I'm not a kindergarten teacher with ahigh pitched child-friendly, yet firm and non-threatening voice 24/7.
2. That I may know the "first thing" but I don't know the 2nd or 3rd thing about entertaining/educating a toddler.These kids grow too fast. It's hard to remember what level they should be operating at. Should he know all 26 letters of the alphabet? Should I be pushing the toilet training more? Should he NOT be watching Toy Story two times a day?
3. That my son gets most of his fruits and vegetables from a manufactured, pre-made juice box. I now understand the full definition of "picky eater."
4. That I don't have the time/patience to grow/cultivate and home-make everything (or anything) he puts in his mouth. And that he'll probably be anemic and dyslexic and never go beyond a first grade reading level because of it.
5. Most of his dinners lately have been spoon-fulls of peanut butter. Not for lack of offering him a "well balanced" meal -he's just refusing EVERYTHING. PICKY!
6. At his current daycare I have to make his lunch. Every morning when packing his lunch I KNOW he's only going to eat the Nemo gummy bears and drink the juice. Completely ignoring the "main meal."
7. Milo takes a multi-vitamin. The serving size is 2 peices. I feel guilty only giving him 2 because he wants more! (they look like sugar coated gummy bears. Who wouldn't want to eat the whole bottle?)
8. Watching him fall all over himself in complete rage when I deny him another sweet, cookie, juice, or, for the love of sugar, VITAMIN.
9. And finally, my little love bug has a tendency to smack, bite and kick. His mother, his father, his friends. I know he is still learning about anger and how to handle it. I know he doesn't know how to manage his frustration/fatigue/hunger in a more positive way...but it's SO hard when I hear of another kid getting hurt. It's also hard for me to handle my own anger/frustration when I'm the target of his attacks.
Some days it's all I got not to completely lose it.
But I'm not interested in traumatizing my child, child protective services or being dubbed "mommy dearest."
The mantra of "he is two, this is a phase, this is normal 2 year-old behavior" all circle my mind -trying to give me peace with all this.
I am still a "new" parent. I am not expected to BE EVERYTHING or DO EVERYTHING. And do it the RIGHT way EVERY TIME. I ALWAYS have my child's best interests at heart. He will be a well-rounded, successful, open-minded, easy going, generous, thoughtful man one day.
Thanks for the therapy session.
Until now.
Before motherdom, I always dismissed the experience another mom-friend would have regarding guilt. "Guilt is a useless emotion." "WHY would you EVER feel guilty for returning to work?" "WHY do you feel guilty for setting boundaries and enforcing rules with your child?"
And I still see those things as true. but DAMN. The guilt knows no boundaries and has reached the likes of me.
Took me awhile to realize it, but these feelings I've been having are, indeed, guilt. I've been good at masking them, rationalizing them, and even denying them.
But Enough! with the Freud coping skills! I am now up to my ears in guilt. And I fully admit it. Step One.
"We admitted we were powerless over guilt -that our lives have become unmanageable."
What exactly do I feel guilty about? Let me count the ways...
1. That I'm not a kindergarten teacher with a
2. That I may know the "first thing" but I don't know the 2nd or 3rd thing about entertaining/educating a toddler.These kids grow too fast. It's hard to remember what level they should be operating at. Should he know all 26 letters of the alphabet? Should I be pushing the toilet training more? Should he NOT be watching Toy Story two times a day?
3. That my son gets most of his fruits and vegetables from a manufactured, pre-made juice box. I now understand the full definition of "picky eater."
4. That I don't have the time/patience to grow/cultivate and home-make everything (or anything) he puts in his mouth. And that he'll probably be anemic and dyslexic and never go beyond a first grade reading level because of it.
5. Most of his dinners lately have been spoon-fulls of peanut butter. Not for lack of offering him a "well balanced" meal -he's just refusing EVERYTHING. PICKY!
6. At his current daycare I have to make his lunch. Every morning when packing his lunch I KNOW he's only going to eat the Nemo gummy bears and drink the juice. Completely ignoring the "main meal."
7. Milo takes a multi-vitamin. The serving size is 2 peices. I feel guilty only giving him 2 because he wants more! (they look like sugar coated gummy bears. Who wouldn't want to eat the whole bottle?)
8. Watching him fall all over himself in complete rage when I deny him another sweet, cookie, juice, or, for the love of sugar, VITAMIN.
9. And finally, my little love bug has a tendency to smack, bite and kick. His mother, his father, his friends. I know he is still learning about anger and how to handle it. I know he doesn't know how to manage his frustration/fatigue/hunger in a more positive way...but it's SO hard when I hear of another kid getting hurt. It's also hard for me to handle my own anger/frustration when I'm the target of his attacks.
Some days it's all I got not to completely lose it.
But I'm not interested in traumatizing my child, child protective services or being dubbed "mommy dearest."
The mantra of "he is two, this is a phase, this is normal 2 year-old behavior" all circle my mind -trying to give me peace with all this.
I am still a "new" parent. I am not expected to BE EVERYTHING or DO EVERYTHING. And do it the RIGHT way EVERY TIME. I ALWAYS have my child's best interests at heart. He will be a well-rounded, successful, open-minded, easy going, generous, thoughtful man one day.
Thanks for the therapy session.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
8:30am Sunday morning
Milk? check
Peanut butter face? check
Battle ship? check
Diaper box? check
I think we're all good here.
Monday, October 18, 2010
more pumpkins, barrel rides, horses and hay
Tis the season, yes?
I might be on a mision to touch base with every other pumpkin-rides-hay maze gathering uppers in the area. This particular one didn't excite the likes of Milo, unfortch. Maybe it was too close to naptime. Maybe it was the hoards of families in a relatively tight area. Which means lines. Which requires patience. All these things equals a short stay and ending with a screaming, biting, swinging toddler in the strong and capable arms of daddy...
And w/o further ramble, here are the pho-toes:
 |
| Whoa. Good morning everybody! |
 |
| eh. hay maze. |
hay jungle gym thing. whatevs.
 |
| Horse ride? Not too, too bad... |
 |
| Barrel ride? Been there, done this... |
 |
| Hey ani-mawls. What's good? |
 |
| This doesn't quite capture the *magic* of the E's leaving...but we were totally THAT family with THAT kid that won't CHILL THE HELL OUT. |
Sunday, October 17, 2010
low-tide at dusk
This was one of those (many!) beach outings where I wished I owned a high-end camera with a high-end lens to capture these high-end/low tide...times. But thank goodness for camera phones...
 |
| tiny moon: 252,000 miles away |
 |
| And the tide rises, the tide falls |
 |
| my toes, your toes |
 |
| perspective, sometimes: thank you moon. |
 |
| what's below the surface |
 |
| and we are beach-happy -even in October |
 |
| ebb of the ebb and flow |
 |
| fishing/swimming/gathering... |
 |
| Play on... |
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
like a deep blue sea on a blue blue day
"Blue eyes
baby's got blue eyes
like a clear blue sky
watching over me
blue eyes
I love blue eyes
When I'm by her side
where I long to be
I will see
Blue eyes laughing in the sun
laughing in the rain
Baby's got blue eyes
And I am home, I am home again"
~elton john
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