Dear Easy Lynsey,
Or whatever you’re calling yourself these days. Though I appreciate that you are still posting regularly, where are the most current of pictures re: Milo? You know, the ones you are
ALWAYS taking at the most
mundane inspiring of occasion? Then passing them off as the latest and greatest of amazing that your son is doing? But I’m sure it’s one of those “you had to be there” to appreciate the cuteness. I’m still waiting for some Wal-mart pics. You’re a SAHM. I know you’re frequenting Wal-mart. And often.
Signed,
Faithful follower
Dear Gentle Reader,
I love saying ‘gentle reader.’ I knocked it off from Miss Manners. Miss “panties in a twitch” Manners.
Funny you should mention Wal-mart. Because I was SO THERE today. Only because their baby food is WAY cheaper than the Commissary, Giant, and Food Lion. Not put together though. That would be ridiculous. YES, I'm feeding my child stage 3 baby food. STILL. Yes, he is considered a toddler and could easily move up and on. But the point is is that he is eatting, superbalanced foods. He is a tad slow to progress to more adult-like foods. There are exceptions. Like, Sunday when he ate the shit out of some curry lamb. Plus, I'm super lazy. Opening a jar is easy. I like easy. I do easy.
But the funny part of my day was that after I left Wal-mart, with a shopping cart full of STAGE 3 SUPERFOODS and WHOLE MILK, baby in tow, I so went straight down the sidewalk to Giant. Because Wal-mart doesn't have bananas. Mama needs bananas.
Oh, yes, I perused the aisles of a Giant in a Wal-mart shopping cart. Which, by the way, is way bigger than the standard Giant shopping cart.
I felt like a badass, fer sure...
Especially when I returned the cart to the Giant cart returner thing. Oh, hell yeah.
Ok. Enough of that.
I, too, am mourning the loss of my camera that takes all of those amazingly accurate cuteness-of-the-cute pics. My son, though not quite growing facial hair, is growing by leaps and bounds. He is continuing with my new favorite milestone: separation anxiety. I can’t wait to show you those pics of me waving bye-bye in a
nauseatingly cheerful -nothing is wrong- kind of way while the babe bangs on the door, smashing his face on the glass in a most unflattering
and pathetic way all the while whining/screaming bouncing snot across the face goblet tears kinda way.
Oh, he so cute….
Faithful and malnourished,
LynZ
Dear Mrs. Easy,
Though I thank you for the dissertation on the excitement of your post holiday Tuesday, you did not answer the question. Where are the pics?
Signed,
Faithful follower
Dear Stalker,
Please check your underwear. Ahem…thanks for being a faithful follower. But the cuteness that is, decided to take his other milestone of picking up and throwing objects across the room to a whole new level. I believe the experts call it “cause and effect.” I assume you are a parent as well. Otherwise my blog may be
excruciatingly boring and repetitive not as interesting to you. But, never-you-mind plastic shiny toys. Never-you-mind the age appropriate blocks and rubber spatulas. Oh no, expensive electronics are the way to go. Insert my camera, stage left. Take a bow, my camera, exit stage right.
The
underage, stoned and incompetent fine employees of Best Buy informed me that due to my smart choice of buying the
overpriced but necessary because electronics are made to be sold, not actually used for more than a year before they take a big shit insurance plan thingy, that the camera will be fixed and mailed back to me by 9/14/09.
Perhaps, then I will be smarter, wiser, more careful
and less drunk than to let my camera fall haphazardly into the chubby little hands of my darling young one.
Signed,
Lyn “I’m out of Chardonney” Easy
