38 weeks + 1 day: Happy Birthday Ari Beckett! (Part One)

So there was an earthquake on Tuesday.  I gave birth on Friday.  And a hurricane Irene came through on Saturday.

It's been a very cool week, man...

Let me sum up a birth story:

Wednesday (at 37 weeks 6 days) I had attended my doc appointment and was measuring 3cm and 75% effaced. The same as the week before.  The lady parts doc had guestimated that she'd see me next week for my 39 week appointment.  I waddled out of that office disappointed.  I felt for sure I'd be giving birth this week. I felt huge, achy, and READY!

The next day, Thursday, I head up to the commisary at the local Air Force base with my trusty grocery store list.  I had bought a copy of the latest Rachael Ray mag and was all inspired to make a month's worth of meals in 1 day.  We were also expecting hurricane Irene to come through the area.  So I'm throwing several gallons of water, 10lbs of pork and chicken, pull-ups, and ice cream into the cart.  I'm going to be well-fed and prepared if I have to stay holed up at home with the fam!

Of course, while I was there I was inspired to use the ladies room and take this picture:

Approximately 26 hours before giving birth

 

Later that night I got a smooch from some handsome guy who was giving our son a bath:

It's like I knew this was my last full day of being pregnant.  Let me take as many pics...

10pm came along and the husb and I decided to call it a night.  I had briefly debated if I wanted to stay up to watch the latest Jersey Shore, but decided I could handle a rerun the next day. Mama was tired...

I woke up around 4am, which was nothing unusual.  Went pee and crawled/scooted back into bed.  I started feeling achy in the hips.  Like hips are pulling apart kind of achy.  I had been feeling this off/on for weeks.  No biggie.  Then the ache came back 10 minutes later.  Then 10 minutes later.  Then again.  I got up again and peed.

This time I came back into the room and dropped to my knees and leaned against the bed.  Justin sits up.

"Are you okay?"

"My hips are just really hurting."

"Should I call the doctor?"

"Let's just see what happens."

I didn't know if this was a pattern.  A truly active-in-labor pattern.  Justin pulls out my phone and starts timing the contractions with my nifty phone app.  Periodically, I walk around the room and then drop down again to hum out the pain.  Next thing I know it's around 530am and I was convinced this was the
Real McCoy of Labor.  I get up brush my teeth and start putting my toiletries in my hospital bag that had been packed for a couple of weeks now.

"We gotta get outta here."

I call the doctor and leave a message that I was having contractions for over an hour, 5 minutes apart and lasting from 45 seconds to 1.5 minutes.

Within a few minutes someone from the doc's office calls me back, gets more info, and let's me know that she'll notify my doctor.

Meanwhile Justin wakes up Milo gets him dressed and tells him, "Mommy and I have go to the hospital.  Your baby brother is going to be here soon!"

"Oh, baby brother!"

Milo doesn't have daycare on Fridays and I was feeling the need to go-go-go to the hospital.  Since my mom lives an hour away I had decided to take my friend up on her offer to "Call me if you need anything" and I called.  At 6am she answers her phone and graciously allows us to drop off Milo.  I call my mom and let her know what's happening. 

By 630am we're barrolling down the road.  40 minutes to the hospital...

I'm breathing, I'm moaning and reminding myself that my water hasn't broken yet and these pains were not the worst to come.  I can handle this.  My body was made just for this. Every song on the radio seemed to be a direct message to me.  From Bob Marley (Could you be loved, and be loved...) to Katie Perry (Do it all again/this Friday night/do it all again...)
The sun coming up over the horizon seemed to be welcoming this new life like a new day.  Every cloud, every bird...(focus/focal points)

Every contraction seemed to take me deeper into more pain.  I tried to remain focused and fully breathe into them.  3 years ago I was so terrified of each contraction.  Each one like Thunder on the Mountain.  I fought them and resisted them and my anxiety seemed to take over making it a thoroughly scary experience.

I didn't want this to be another scary experience.

What seemed to help this go-round was to welcome the contraction, breathe it in and out and when it subsided thank it and send it back to the universe.

"You can have that back"

There something about labor, preparing your body for birth, that brings you into your self, God, mother nature -no matter your spirituality, religion, energy, light, sage burning chanting enlightenment -these moments really make one reach outside yourself as well as deep within yourself- for strength, to be absent of fear, to embrace.

And as soon as the contraction was gone I felt normal, relaxed.  And then it would come back. 

Ebb/Flow, Ebb/Flow, Ebb/Flow

"I can't believe we're doing this.  Today."

 I felt emotional, numb, excited, scared, focused, but mostly thankful that I had my husband next to me and that Milo was safely cared for.

I could focus on my labor.  My husband could focus on me.  And Milo wouldn't have to be scared/confused over what was going on...

We park and head up to Labor and Delivery shortly after 7am.  After a brief check-in and several contractions later I'm hooked up in the triage room.

I'm 5cm and 75% effaced.

"What's your plan for pain management?"

"Lots of it."

"You plan for lots of pain?"

(laughing) "No, I'd like lots of meds to manage my pain..."

I'm still in mild disbelief that this is all happening but also relieved that they don't tell me to "Go walk the halls" to help my labor along.  I was dilated and had a consistent contraction pattern.  I'll be admitted to room 202 thankyouverymuch!

Since cocktail Epidural was on my menu front and center they start the IV.  After my veins had gurgled a full bag of fluids I was able to get the feel-good doctor to come into my room and poke at my spine.

At around 8am the very nice lady from Anesthesia wheels in her magic.  I had an Epi with Milo so I felt confident in the experience.  However, it was a tad more painful than 3 years ago.  The electric shock that resonated on the right side of my body scared the shit out of me.  Ms. Anesthesia guided me through everything she was doing and explained it all.  Apparently, every doc does their own thing when administrating the juice.



Moments after The Great Epidural.  God bless modern medicene!



And then it was chill time (in between texting and calling various family and friends, of course)

 For the next hour I was itching like a crack addict.  She said this is normal and is a side effect from another med that she gives in order to get more immediate relief.  So for an hour I feel The Warm Numb paired with The Annoying Itch.

Soon after, the doc comes in and I can't help myself...

"You were wrong!"

"I told you things can change quickly!"

"Well, you didn't hurt my feelings, I'm glad to be here!"

"You got your epidural...? (notices the wires and such)...oh, yes you did..."

She checks out my cervix and I'm 8cm!

"Let's go ahead and break your water."

"Yeah, might as well...since you're already down there..."

I'm nothing if not classy...

"Damn, flood the room, girl!"

And my doctor is nothing but professional...:)

But after the bag of water was broken...that's when things started going downhill...



waiting...



38 weeks

Knowing every public restroom in a 50 mile radius from my home has been my privilege

Stats of the week:

Still to go:
14 days  ANY FLIPPIN' DAY NOW PLEASE

Total weight gain:
22.5 lbs

Blood pressure:
100/50

Measuring at:
39 weeks

As of yesterday's appointment I'm holding strong at 3cm and 75% effaced.  Baby is at -2 station.

My doc thinks she'll see me next week at the 39 week appointment but in the same breath says, "But things can change quickly!  Call me if you have 5 strong contractions within one hour or your water breaks."

Dear Water,
You've broken before on your own.  I know you can do this again.  Now be a good bag of water and POP GODDAMIT!  Preferably in the privacy of my home and when I'm standing on hard wood floor.
Very Respectively,
MME

Dear Contractions,
Although I've been feeling you on/off for a weeks now, you're really not giving me all you got.  I know you can do better.  Remember 3 years ago when you had me doubled over the nurse's station in Labor and Delivery and I was punching my husband in the chest/stomach/arms and yelling "This Fucking SUCKS!" and the triage nurse thought I was saying "NO Fucking SEX!" ? Now *those* we're some bad-ass contractions.  Even though I had to numb you down with a big fat needle, you did a great job getting everything ready for the birth of my darling Milo. 

Now let's revisit the good 'ol days, shall we?  And then we can put all this pregnancy business behind us.
V/R,
MME

The baby boy who is enjoying my uterus way too much and ignoring all eviction notices I have posted
is still plenty active.  Fierce kicks are easily and frequently felt in the ribs.  He hiccups daily and it usually begins just as I'm lying down for the night.

It used to be cute, but things have changed.

Labor dust fairies...please sprinkle your magic upon me...

Don't let the "I'm not amused" look fool you...I've got *plenty*of humor left in me.  Sort of.

My little drag queen
"Hey, mama!  Let's turn on some Madonna and VOGUE!"

As I was in the bathroom for the 3,405th time, Milo spontaneously loops one of my bras around himself and says, "Look at me, mama, look at ME!"

Thank you, Milo, for reminding me to not take myself so seriously.  You da bests!

Oh, hello, 37 weeks, pleased to meet you! (on the otherside of pre-term)

37 weeks was my goal, and here it is!  In all its big 'ol belly-heartburn-stomach acid in the mouth-up 27 times a night-sore pelvis-achy back-feet in ribs GLORY!!

The positive side?  Still without a stretch mark, clear skin, thick hair and more than acceptable weight gain.  And, of course, the healthy baby boy evolving in there...

Man, it feels good to be on the other side of "pre-term!"

One glorious body memory I will take with me is the living, the evolution of this impressive baby growing business.  Each week a milestone in Life: pregnancy, childhood, marriage...

The sigh of relief to meet a new day, to check off another week, each doc appointment met with "normal" results, to greet my husband home after each trip (and still pregnant!), witnessing my son lift up his shirt, stick out his bare belly and say, "Oh, baby brother!"

The good stuff ain't always the easy and fun stuff, but what makes it good is that process and the processing through it...

I dig on gratitude when I'm sitting/walking/standing/lying down in an ever-increasing awkward state.  Because, really...there's a life doing the same thing in my body.  Awkwardly twisting to find the most optimal comfort.

There's a LIFE.

The weeks and days before Milo arrived I didn't spend much time on thinking about how life would change. I just assumed he would fit neatly into our lives. 

He may have come barrelling down the turnpike at breakneck speed, smoking cigarettes and blaring The White Stripes just to drop his baggage off in the foyer and then prop his feet up on my couch and sing merrily, "Hi, I'm here. What's for dinner? TAKE CARE OF ME NOW"

And I would stand with confusion staring at all the accessories I felt was necessary to acquire in order to fully parent and think, "Now what?

What child is this?  And when is your real mother coming to take you home?!"

Motherhood, the first time around certainly did not (and never will) define me. But motherhood, most certainly invited me, encouraged me, demanded of me to define myself and to open my consciousness and accept that LOVE doesn't come from one particular party.

And I've had alot of party...

There was a time when carseats, cheeto cheesed-out fingers smeared on the windows, and a $100 worth of diapers (pull-ups and newborns!) in the trunk of my car would have seriously cramped my swagger...

Now?  It's a new kind of party...the party that actually loves me back...

The next task for me as I enter the Grand Finale is to continue to "let go."  Somehow I've come this far in my life (as a mother, wife, woman).  I made up this saying when I was 23 that went something like this, "I didn't drive 2,550 miles on good looks and charm."  I came this far just fine.  More than fine, actually...

I need to continue to let go and continue trusting in the process, in the unfolding...This baby will arrive in his time, at the right time.  He already belongs to this family.  Always enough love...

37 weeks

Still to go: 3 weeks-ish

which is:
21 days-ish

the baby is as big as a:
watermelon (19 to 22 in, 6.5 lbs) estimated

total weight gain:
22 lbs

measuring at:
38 weeks

Group B Strep test is:
NEGATIVE!

AND HOLY SHIZ, YA'LL....

I'm 3cm dilated and 75% effaced!!

36 weeks (9 months!)





30 weeks ago...



 (blink)



today



Still to go:

4 weeks

Which is:

28 days

The babe is as big as:

Large cantaloupe (19 to 20 in, 6lbs) estimated 

With the countdown on for the reuniting and the meeting of the Eason Four, I'm forcing myself to sit.  This isn't always the easiest of tasks when my nature is to moveit-moveit.  But, in order to keep the labor fairies at bay, I must just simply, sit.  And stay hydrated.  A sort of self-prescribed bed-rest.  Though I'm not moving furniture (my favorite past time), it's been enough just running laundry up and down 2 flights of stairs.  Whosever idea it was to put the master bedroom on the top floor and the laundry in the basement was a dingbat.  And an asshole. And, apparently, has never lived with a pregnant woman.

On-line shopping was never really my thing, but I've been enjoying the "window shopping" of amazon and etsy, among other, manymany other, websites that advertise ease, awesomeness and feng shui into my world.

Since we're having a baby boy Dos, I haven't had to invest in much to prepare for his arrival.  However, it's amazing all the new SHIT out there for babys and parents.  And though I'm not tempted by most of it, I have allowed myself a few new items that will -hopefully- make things a tad easier this go-round.   The newborn rock 'n play seems to be a big hit with not only on-line reviewers, but also with a few friends o' mine.  I like how compact it is.  With Milo, the husb would assemble and then disassemble EVERYDAY the pack and play.  Bringing it upstairs to our bedroom at night, and then shlep it downstairs to the living room during the day. 

Total painintheass.

I also purchased the moby wrap.  Though we already have 2 other baby carriers, this one seems perfect for newborns, and, hopefully, more comfortable for marathon wearing.  If this baby is like his older brother, he will be a much happier baby in mama's (or daddy's!) arms.  Milo most certainly knew the difference between being held by human arms and being cradled by a swing or bouncy seat.  He is/was not a fan of "artificial" cuddling.  Plus, I just simply love the style of the moby, very hippy chic.

Though I plan on exclusively breastfeeding, I've purchased some new nipples for the bottles I've saved.  Whether for pumped breast milk, formula, or a combination of the two, it's nice to have a bottle back up.

Something *new* we will be trying this go-round is cloth diapering!  Lately, I've had to prioritize some expeditures (new tires for both cars, new brakes, new clutch, tree removal, yadayada had to come first) so I haven't yet bought my stash of diapers and the cleaning accessories it requires, but I am all-out excited to try them on!  I do, however, have a nice little treasure of disposable diapers on hand just in case baby dos arrives before my CD shipment...

I just said I'm all-out excited to try cloth diapering.

Huh...?!

35 weeks +4 days: 1cm dilated!

This morning was the much anticipated (not really) Group B Strep testing.

"We'll call you if you're positive."

Right on...

I also requested the much anticipated, "can you check to see if I'm dilated?"

"Okay, just scoot yourself back down...."

"1cm dilated and thick!"

(that's what he said.  What?!)

"Which is totally normal for a woman who has already had a child."

Baby Doc also ultrasounded me and confirmed the baby head is DOWN!  I'm measuring at 37 weeks...

That circus ain't too far away folks...

Other facts for prosperity:

Total weight gain: 21.5
blood pressure: 100/54

Saturday evening, heat respite at the playground



Pic(k) of my day

me and my boy(s)



35 weeks (bottom of the 8th)

How to keep a 3 year old busy when you are (essentially) a single parent,  nearly 9 months pregnant and all you want to do is sit, feet propped, and watch House Hunters marathons while eatting oreos interchanged with cheese doodles.

Ah, the fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants life of a navy princess wife...

  AND it's god-awful flippin' hot outside.  Like 115 degree heat index stupid crazy hot humidity ridiculouness.

We play with staplers.



We watch Sponge Bob.



We build towers.



We play horsey. 
It's a mommy sandwich!  Get it?  Baby in front, baby in back...



We compare bellies.



I eat cake at my baby shower at work!  Coincidentally, my last day of work (for awhile at least...)!!



Let's hope the babe doesn't drop his landing gear until daddy gets back...Stay in your parachute!

Meanwhile the statistics:

Still to go:

5 weeks

Which is:

35 days

The baby is as big as a:

Large cantaloupe (19 to 22 in, 5.5lbs) estimated

The mama is as big as a:

Wholly canoli. 5 weeks left?  That can't be right...