Snipettes of Christmas

Christmas Eve I tucked in Toddler de Milo all the while telling  him about big surprises for the morning.  I told him about Santa. Sort of.  I'm still on the fence about this one.  So this year I just relayed to Milo that this time of year people tell stories regarding an old man we call "Santa" and how he flies through the air with deer and he has elves to help him and it's all so terrifyingly magical. The End. 

Blink. Blink.

So next year I might need to get my story straight regarding the big guy in red. My thoughts right now are that I don't want to undermine all the hard work and money that goes into gift-giving, decorating, etc by parents, friends, and family.  It's not freaking magic that just -poof- gets done by little fairies. That just this once, it's ok for mama and dada to let in a strange man with candy and gifts.  And I don't want to threaten him with NO PRESENTS when he acts out.  I don't want to LIE (har har)

But then again. Santa is fun. Santa is short lived in our imaginations. I like fun. And I certainly don't want the kid who goes around ruining other kids' holiday.

So we'll see. We'll also see about the tooth fairy...

So the big kids exchanged gifts Christmas Eve after feasting on Chinese food (a new tradition!) and wine (not so new tradition).  Christmas Day morning was all for Milo.   Santa Claus and Grandma did a major sneak attack, taking over the room with gifts and more gifts! Milo finished his breakfast, scooted off the chair and rounded the corner to the living room.  He froze just staring at the clutter, and of a sleeping Uncle Ben on the couch.  I think he was more weirded out by the snoozing Uncle than by all the gifts!  This time last year Milo was a mere 5 months old and there was VERY little under the tree...he was BORN that year...the kid already had enough!  So this year it was cool to see him running around excited and confused at this thing we call Christmas...

My first very loud and obnoxious snowglobe!

Milo inside his new Thomas the Train tent -with matching tunnel!

After brunch, then naps, we went up the road to visit some family...

WHAT a HAM!  See Milo's foot there? Yup...I probably taught him that...

Camera 1 (This may have been a nice photo for this years holiday card.  If I did holiday cards. If I used this pic for next year -would that be wrong? tacky? a year too late? Check out the Christmas socks! BANGIN'!

Camera 2 (Since I lazied out missed the opportunity to do holiday cards this year...maybe I could use this photo for a Valentines Day card? Yes? Gimme your address, I'll totally send ya one!)

Camera 3 (And this could be a card for Easter! People do Easter cards, yeah? I think I'm on to something...)

  Milo lasted about 3 minutes into Christmas dinner until he excused himself to go whine play in the basement.

It isn't a family Christmas dinner without someone running around in their underwear or perhaps a diaper...either one...

Thank you family (extended and immediate) for a wonderful holiday!  The gifts, the food, the laughs! Next year, hopefully everyone will keep their pants on!

untalkative tuesday

SNOWnomenon!

The weather guy was correct...we got lambasted with just a whole lotta white stuff. All over our cars, houses, streets and trees! Here are the highlights E-style!

Obligatory back porch scene...so silky smooth!

uhhh..I have no idea what this whole "snow" thing is about...

They don't have this white stuff in Georgia, ya'll! WooooooHooo!!!

Ahem, yes...I still have no idea what is going on?!?

Yes, those are socks on his hands...Improvisation is the name of the game!!

And here's Milo, in 4D!

PRK is AOK NEDAY

So my baby daddy had eye surgery last week.  PRK to be exact.  Like the obnoxious loyal wife that I be, I attended and I documented -with such amazing poise and photojournalistic expertise even I am shocked at the awesomenes. 

yeakOK. Here we go:

Here's my baby daddy before the surgery @ 0730.  10 minutes after this picture the room filled up with other people that looked JUST LIKE HIM.  Shaved head, glasses, dazed.

They passed out birth control goggles.  LOVE!

This is just a whole lotta HEAT! (Waiting for Godot...)

I got to see the damn thing!  See his EYEBALL on the screen?!  BEAUTY!

YIKES!

Just MOMENTS after walking out the room, he can READ sans GLASSES/CONTACTS!  AMAZING!

Driving home...major sensitivity!

And now, a week later, he is feeling good and looking good!  I love free eye surgery!

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

Need an Agent? How about a Mogul?

Dear 2009,

Hard to believe I've been blogging for about 15 months now.  Seems like just yesterday I was writing in what the old folks call a diary. 

yeah, I said writing. With an actual pen. Writing with a pen.  Whoa.

Anyhurl, the next bold move has been on my mind.  Well, it's actually always-usually on my mind.  I grew up with a mom who was always-usualy all, "get a job" "go to school" "what are you doing?" "what's your plan?"

yeah, what a hag.

But that's what I've always done.  Juggled. Always-usually keeping in mind what is Next, next, next...

So then I had Infant de Milo and in 3 VERY short months (thank you American bullshit Maternity FMLA can lick it Leave)  my maternity leave was up.  And so was I.  Up. UP-UP-UP ALL THE MERRY TIME. No sleep for the wicked!  I couldn't imagine returning to the work world.  At least not at that time.  The commute, the cubicle, the whole thinking outside my baby box seemed impossible.

So thanks to a re-enlistment bonus, my desire to be at home, and the blessings of the purple people eaters, I've been cooking the bacon...instead of bringing it home. So to speak...I don't cook, so much. But I can watch some mean Food Network.

Fast forward 16 months -(what?!)- and the whole "what's your plan" lingers on.  I'm craving stimulation. Something new to learn and wrap my brain around. A conversation.  With an Adult.  Without children around.  Not even just adult conversations...but the ability to finish a sentence without dashing off to stop my son from pulling on someone's hair.  Or saying "STOP THAT" "ARE you OK?" "Come BACK here!" or my personal favorite, "Where's Milo?"

Or even having conversations that don't involve poop. snot. sleep. eatting.  And not just once or twice a week on a date night or a girls night out.  I'm needing more...

So after marinating with some ideas on what I would like to do next, because I'm not all that excited to go back to the mental health world, I think I have finally figured it out.  So, starting in January twice a week I'll be taking a class.  And by March...I will be a licensed Real Estate MOGUL AGENT!

So I am just ALL EXCITED about this!  Combining together my mad skills as an existentialist therapist with my interest in interior design, layout and life changes.  Here is how it will all play out:

"So here you have your living room, just off the master suite.  So when you are mad drunk, watching Dr. Phil marathons, confused and crying over your purpose in life, when all you really need to do is just PASS THE FUCK OUT, you can easily manuever yourself  into your bedroom with little disturbance to your children or your mother-in-law.  Look at this view from the bay window!" (pose like Vanna White introducing a new puzzle)

"And here you have the kitchen!  (*white teeth sparkle*) The updates have already been done for you.  Nice, neutral paint. Granite countertops, stainless steel appliances.  And LOOK, there's even a wine fridge!   Aside from the obvious taste and classic design of this kitchen, is the ability to have sex in any area of the room and still interact with your guests.  Don't you just love open floor plans?!"

"If you follow me into the fully finished basement...this would make a wonderful game room.  I've had such fun turning my own basement into an all out Electric Kool-Aid Acid  test experiment.  You can easily black out the windows, install some high tech black lights....There's even a lovely wet bar here to place your punch!  If you're not into purple elephants or chatting with Tom Sawyer about white washed fences, you could easily turn this into a  recording studio where you can record songs with your Lady Gaga cover band.  The possibilities are endless!"

"And, finally, here is your backyard...backed by trees.  Of course, you have the option to put up a fence.  My recomendation would be to keep it open.  At night, you can see so many stars!  How fun would it be to stroll 'round and 'round your house just starring up into the sky? So fun, right?!" 

OMG.  I could just go on forever with this.  But I think I may have peed myself a little over my excitement!  So here's to new beginnings and the next Bold Move!

I'm not your mama, sweetheart. I'm your daddy.

He's more than just the bacon bringer homer.

On a side note, today my BD (baby daddy) is getting PRK eye surgery!  After 15 years, he can finally bid farewell to glasses and contacts.  Woot!