Mad Mrs. E

Dear 2009,

Hard to believe I've been blogging for about 15 months now. Seems like just yesterday I was writing in what the old folks call a diary.

yeah, I said writing. With an actual pen. Writing with a pen. Whoa.

Anyhurl, the next bold move has been on my mind. Well, it's actually always-usually on my mind. I grew up with a mom who was always-usualy all, "get a job" "go to school" "what are you doing?" "what's your plan?"

yeah, what a hag.

But that's what I've always done. Juggled. Always-usually keeping in mind what is Next, next, next...

So then I had Infant de Milo and in 3 VERY short months (thank you American bullshit Maternity FMLA can lick it Leave) my maternity leave was up. And so was I. Up. UP-UP-UP ALL THE MERRY TIME. No sleep for the wicked! I couldn't imagine returning to the work world. At least not at that time. The commute, the cubicle, the whole thinking outside my baby box seemed impossible.

So thanks to a re-enlistment bonus, my desire to be at home, and the blessings of the purple people eaters, I've been cooking the bacon...instead of bringing it home. So to speak...I don't cook, so much. But I can watch some mean Food Network.

Fast forward 16 months -(what?!)- and the whole "what's your plan" lingers on. I'm craving stimulation. Something new to learn and wrap my brain around. A conversation. With an Adult. Without children around. Not even just adult conversations...but the ability to finish a sentence without dashing off to stop my son from pulling on someone's hair. Or saying "STOP THAT" "ARE you OK?" "Come BACK here!" or my personal favorite, "Where's Milo?"

Or even having conversations that don't involve poop. snot. sleep. eatting. And not just once or twice a week on a date night or a girls night out. I'm needing more...

So after marinating with some ideas on what I would like to do next, because I'm not all that excited to go back to the mental health world, I think I have finally figured it out. So, starting in January twice a week I'll be taking a class.  And by March...I will be a licensed Real Estate ~~MOGUL~~ AGENT!

So I am just ALL EXCITED about this! Combining together my mad skills as an existentialist therapist with my interest in interior design, layout and life changes. Here is how it will all play out:

"So here you have your living room, just off the master suite. So when you are mad drunk, watching Dr. Phil marathons, confused and crying over your purpose in life, when all you really need to do is just PASS THE FUCK OUT, you can easily manuever yourself into your bedroom with little disturbance to your children or your mother-in-law. Look at this view from the bay window!" (pose like Vanna White introducing a new puzzle)

"And here you have the kitchen! (*white teeth sparkle*) The updates have already been done for you. Nice, neutral paint. Granite countertops, stainless steel appliances. And LOOK, there's even a wine fridge!   Aside from the obvious taste and classic design of this kitchen, is the ability to have sex in any area of the room and still interact with your guests. Don't you just love open floor plans?!"

"If you follow me into the fully finished basement...this would make a wonderful game room. I've had such fun turning my own basement into an all out Electric Kool-Aid Acid  test experiment. You can easily black out the windows, install some high tech black lights....There's even a lovely wet bar here to place your punch! If you're not into purple elephants or chatting with Tom Sawyer about white washed fences, you could easily turn this into a recording studio where you can record songs with your Lady Gaga cover band. The possibilities are endless!"

"And, finally, here is your backyard...backed by trees. Of course, you have the option to put up a fence. My recomendation would be to keep it open. At night, you can see so many stars! How fun would it be to stroll 'round and 'round your house just starring up into the sky? So fun, right?!"

OMG. I could just go on forever with this. But I think I may have peed myself a little over my excitement! So here's to new beginnings and the next Bold Move!