baby's first Lobster



11/26/11
You gotta document these miracle milestones, ya'll



11/12/11 beach dusky beach

3 months



3 days




3 months



You know that movie Monsters vs. Aliens?  The scene when Reese Witherspoon's character -the big giant "Susan"- is holding up the SF bay bridge and trying to save all the civilians who are in their cars from being destroyed by the big bad alien thing?  And her fellow "monsters" aren't doing jack?  And Seth Rogen's character says something like, "WOW, Susan!  You're doing a GREAT job!"  and then she says, 

"I'M DOING EVERYTHING!"

that.

Sir Husbandpants has been home for a brief hot blink of an eye before he Jetplanes back to the abyss of underwater cruising.  And -oh wow- having both of us here for both of them is like...easy peasy puddin' pie life stuff. 




I can take a 3 month old out to a sushi lunch?!  And he just hangs out?  Without crying?!  WHAT?!


One of us can cook dinner (him) while the other plays on the internet with the kids.
One of us can fold the laundry (him) while the other nurses the baby while playing on the internet trucks with the 3yo.
One of us can take 3yo to the park while the other catches up with HGTV the dusting then nursing, the vacuuming then nursing.
One of us can take both the boys and cook breakfast while the other gets an extra 2 hours of sleep washes cloth diapers.

Bottom line, there's been 2 -TWO!- of us this week.  It's been so simply great.

Tomorrow husbanddaddypants leaves again.  When he comes back this guy will be just short of 6 months.

Me is le Sad.

But Ari?  He is le Fantastic.

He continues to be the best of the best, the cute of the cutes, and the easy of the easy.  It's like he intuitively knows that he needs to be cool if we want to get through this deployment with class and style.  He is smily and gurgly and coo-coo cachoo-man all the day light hours.  He gives me a 4-5 hour reprieve at night and when he does wake up it's smack-smack of his lips and a little wiggle-wiggle of the hips and he has me up to feed him. And then we're back down quickly.  All business and back to sleep.

He's on somewhat of a schedule -thanks to having an older brother.  And, due to his youngness and his gowiththeflow personality, he's flexible with the when and where's and how to's when it comes to sleeping and eatting and who holds him and where we go.  OH -except he won't take a bottle.  Oh -fucking-well, I says...

And,yes, I'm tired and overwhelmed and irritable at times and why-me sometimes and I sometimes want to buy a pack of smokes and a six pack of really expensive wine or buy a ticket to the Seychelles but more powerful than all of that is this GREAT BIG LOVE I have for my family. I know there is a bigger picture beyond The Work that goes into The Choices we make.  Life can be sweet whilst in The Weeds, The Trenches of single parenting deployment hassle I'M DOING EVERYTHING months that I'm staring down at.

YUP, I am exhausted and sad and lonely but mostly I'm just happy.  I'm not giving myself any other choice but to embrace where I am at in this moment and not because I HAVE to or it's EXPECTED of me but because

I
Just
Want
to...



Thanksgiving feast at daycare.



here today...



same couch, different kid (and same jeans HA!)

 As a mother of 2 boys, I'm trying my darn-dest to NOT compare the 2 of them.  They are each their own person with their own ideas, personalities, temperments, egos, tastes, bodies, preferences...etc. Good, bad, nor ugly I want them to do what they do.

You do you.  I'll do me.  Very Jersey Shore...

HOWEVA....I can't help myself!  I find genetics fascinating. How millions of cell body ion pro-ton-cons come together and create and mutate and evolve and big BANG you get this PERSON and it's just so organic and beautiful and grotesque.  It gets me WIRED to WONDER about these 2.  What will they be vulnerable to? When Ari walks into a 7-11 what will he buy?  An energy drink?  A slurpee? Will Milo be 6 foot 2 and bald by 18?  Will Ari be 5 foot 8 and a sensitive pony tail man?  What will form out of that tiny Yin seed that once was dancing away until it merged with it's Yang and then clung itself to the uterine wall. Vibrating and thriving...

ANYWAYS...here I am comparing their smiles...

A smiling ARI at 2 months





A smiling MILO at 2 months (maybe 3?)

 So far, these babes are night and day. Of course, they are at different stages/phases/ages, but I can see already the different personalites.   Though Ari was born during the week of the hurricane and the earthquake here in Maryland...he is the calm, he is the sweet, he is the zen. As fast and furious as his birth was, he is serene and open. Happy to BE  HERE NOW.  At times, he is more doll than infant.

Milo, is my hurricane.  My passionate, emotional gypsy-man.  Free of regard for the conventional.  He needs to be grounded for as high as that child can go.  He can be loving and attached as much as he can ARRIVE and HELLO!  He can charm with his eyes and sweet voice as quick as he can crumble to the ground in disappointment.

Where Ari gives me energy, Milo gives me strength.  I simply couldn't live without these boys. 

In their similarities, in their differences, I look forward to them all...

head shots for the future *it* kid

 I just can't help myself...I'm a picuture takin' mama fool...




I am CUTE!

I am CUTE in the dairy aisle!



I am CUTE in the produce section!



I am CUTE up close!

I am CUTE on Halloween!



I am CUTE hanging out with my brother!



i miss you too, little man...

Last night, while sitting on my lap, Milo turned to me and said,

"I miss you, mommy."

And I know what he means.  Daddy is deployed and we have a 2 month old.  Mommy's time is split and unevenly divided .  Mommy's energy is preciously low.  Mommy's hands are usually holding his little brother.  Mommy can't always build log houses or crash trucks on the floor at any given time...

He doesn't understand that mommy is the only one to plan and cook dinner.  To get the trash out on Tuesdays.  To clean (vacuum, dust, swiffer!), to empty the dishwasher, to launder/fold/put away the clothes, to pay the bills on time, to get him to/fro daycare, to scoop the cat liter, to gas the car, to nurse every couple hours, to be up several times a night, to bathe both boys, to potty train, to change every diaper and bless every sneeze...

It won't always be like this
It won't always be like this.

And while he is still sitting on my lap, with my arms wrapped around him, Milo farts.

"Mommy I TOOTED!  I BIG TOOTED!"

Ah, 3 year olds....