3 months



3 days




3 months



You know that movie Monsters vs. Aliens?  The scene when Reese Witherspoon's character -the big giant "Susan"- is holding up the SF bay bridge and trying to save all the civilians who are in their cars from being destroyed by the big bad alien thing?  And her fellow "monsters" aren't doing jack?  And Seth Rogen's character says something like, "WOW, Susan!  You're doing a GREAT job!"  and then she says, 

"I'M DOING EVERYTHING!"

that.

Sir Husbandpants has been home for a brief hot blink of an eye before he Jetplanes back to the abyss of underwater cruising.  And -oh wow- having both of us here for both of them is like...easy peasy puddin' pie life stuff. 




I can take a 3 month old out to a sushi lunch?!  And he just hangs out?  Without crying?!  WHAT?!


One of us can cook dinner (him) while the other plays on the internet with the kids.
One of us can fold the laundry (him) while the other nurses the baby while playing on the internet trucks with the 3yo.
One of us can take 3yo to the park while the other catches up with HGTV the dusting then nursing, the vacuuming then nursing.
One of us can take both the boys and cook breakfast while the other gets an extra 2 hours of sleep washes cloth diapers.

Bottom line, there's been 2 -TWO!- of us this week.  It's been so simply great.

Tomorrow husbanddaddypants leaves again.  When he comes back this guy will be just short of 6 months.

Me is le Sad.

But Ari?  He is le Fantastic.

He continues to be the best of the best, the cute of the cutes, and the easy of the easy.  It's like he intuitively knows that he needs to be cool if we want to get through this deployment with class and style.  He is smily and gurgly and coo-coo cachoo-man all the day light hours.  He gives me a 4-5 hour reprieve at night and when he does wake up it's smack-smack of his lips and a little wiggle-wiggle of the hips and he has me up to feed him. And then we're back down quickly.  All business and back to sleep.

He's on somewhat of a schedule -thanks to having an older brother.  And, due to his youngness and his gowiththeflow personality, he's flexible with the when and where's and how to's when it comes to sleeping and eatting and who holds him and where we go.  OH -except he won't take a bottle.  Oh -fucking-well, I says...

And,yes, I'm tired and overwhelmed and irritable at times and why-me sometimes and I sometimes want to buy a pack of smokes and a six pack of really expensive wine or buy a ticket to the Seychelles but more powerful than all of that is this GREAT BIG LOVE I have for my family. I know there is a bigger picture beyond The Work that goes into The Choices we make.  Life can be sweet whilst in The Weeds, The Trenches of single parenting deployment hassle I'M DOING EVERYTHING months that I'm staring down at.

YUP, I am exhausted and sad and lonely but mostly I'm just happy.  I'm not giving myself any other choice but to embrace where I am at in this moment and not because I HAVE to or it's EXPECTED of me but because

I
Just
Want
to...



Thanksgiving feast at daycare.



here today...