the first 2 weeks (the honeymoon)

The first 2 weeks of l'Ari (I've turned a French stone in my sleep deprived state of life) have been en liess!  Baby blues?  Not a chance!  (I credit breast feeding hormones.  Thank you oxytocin and prolactin!)  Broken sleep?  No problem (I've got the keen ability to nap...).  Aches and after birth pains? Pssht...handled (thank you Ibuprofen, Tylenol with codeine, sitz baths, and witch hazel pads!) .  Sibling rivalry? Nothing but love.  Dinner? On the table (thanks to my husb on paternity leave and my Mama's group for providing me with some frozen meals! Along with many other goodies!).  Cleanliness of the house?  White gloved perfection (or just too distracted to care at this point).

Breastfeeding issues?  Ari and I are a TEAM! It's like we're the poster people of La Leche.  Seriously though, I'm actually impressed with our ability to do this...for 2 weeks straight!  With every wet/poo diaper I pat myself on the back that I can breastfeed!  At Ari's 2 week appointment he measured at 23 inches (grown 2 inches!) and weighed 8lbs 9oz (gained just under a pound).  Making him around the 50th percentile for weight and above the 100th percentile for height.

No cradle cap. No baby acne.  No rashes, cuts, marks or boo-boos on this perfect creature...



We get about 3 hour stretches of sleep at night.  It's a start...
Otherwise I'm nursing every hour or 2...

 


So, you're the daddy 'round here?!

 



"To split yourself in two, is just the most radical thing you can do."
Ani Difranco

 



The other day Ari was fussing in his car seat.  I asked Milo to talk to his brother to help soothe him.  Milo turns to Ari and says, "It's okay, Ari.  Mommy's here.  Daddy's here. and Milo's here!"
It was a moment for me.
On the occasion that Milo wakes in the middle of the night -possibly from some bad dream or maybe a cat hacking a hairball from under his bed- I go to his room and tell him mommy and daddy are here.  I'm so glad that this not only soothes him back to his pillow to sleep, he remembers it.
And he used these words for his brother. Le sigh...

 

 


I live with these guys.  Me love lots.

  


and I wear my husbands boxers sometimes (I've lost all but 5lbs of the "baby weight!")...Classy Comfort for the "inbetween stage."

 


4 days afer birth, we took Ari to a check-in/up appointment.  His skin,when pressed, turned yellow.  So we had blood drawn.  His bilirubin was 16.3.  At 17 he would have been readmitted to the hospital for light therapy.  Instead we were able to go home with the instructions to feed-feed-feed so he can poop-poop-poop.  We also sat outside in the early morning/late afternoon.  2 days later his numbers were down to 13.  Doc says in his rough Indian accent, "We aren't going to worry about this jaundice anymore...."

 Yellow, yellow go away...




He doesn't remember how much he hated the swing when he was an infant.
Now?  It's a freakin' riot!

 


Psst...mama, I'm hungry!

 


Why, yes, that is my 3y.o. playing Call of Duty: Black Ops.  Probably not the most age appropriate game...
Probably.

 



This couch has gotten a lot of love.





Pretty much the best thing in the entire universe times infinity.

 

Taking Ari out at this age has proven to be a large case of "show and tell."  But me, de Milo and the husb must leave the house!  And with that comes alot of
"Wow, he's so tiny!" 
"You forget how small they are."
"How old is he or she?"
"Look at the little baby!"
"Now THAT is a newborn."
and one...
"In my day, we didn't take the baby out in public until after many months."



Burrito de Milo.
Milo has observed many swaddle sessions with his little brother.  So, one night, he requested the same.



Laundry is nothing short of Insane.  I'm impressed with the amount of clothing a newborn goes through, along with the 3 other folks that reside with him.  Milo enjoys "helping" out...



On Ari's 2 week post birthday -day, the husb and I took him out to dinner.  With white linen napkins and appetizers and salad and shrimp and scallops.  It was a fancy time.
Fortunatly we were surrounded by seasoned parents who didn't mind a baby in their fancy restaurant date night atmosphere.
Course, Ari stayed on the boob for most of the experience...





so far...so cool...

 

Ari/Milo: 1 week comparable

Milo, 1 week

Ari: 1 week


 


Milo



Ari





 











Hi, I'm new here...

 






Ari: 1 week
Milo: 3 years, 1 month

  

Labor Day weekend show

This past weekend we decided to get out of the house and head down to the Naval Air Station to witness the Naval Air Expo, celebrating 100 years of Naval Aviation! The Blue Angels were the headliners along with several other flight performances.  Though we didn't stay to see the Angels in flight (too HOT, too LOUD -not the best combo with a 9 day old and a post partum mama!), we did stroll around quite a bit, taking in all the planes, helicopters, and -yes!- bounce houses!



I fantasized for a moment that this was our own private airplane that we were going to board equipped with champagne, sushi and a play area fit for a 3 year old for a nice flight to the Caribbean.  Or the South Pacific.  Either one really.



Milo was IN LOVE with the airplanes!  Future Navy pilot?

Not one toddler can resist a moon bouce!  And there were several to bounce in!

oooh, fancy...!



It was alot easier getting him in the helicopter than it was asking him to come out.
"No, I stay right here."



Milo and dad were a tad disappointed they didn't close the door and take flight.



How did Ari do?  He slept the entire time.  Apparently he isn't impressed with aviation.  Maybe next year...



L&D (part 2)

After the doc breaks my water she leaves the room and I continue laboring on...

A short while later the nurse calls the doc...

"You want to come in here and deliver a baby?"

"Wha...?"  I didn't know we were so close.  It was 11:30am-ish.

Throughout my pregnancy, Ari's heart rate stayed in the 150s. This was no exception during active labor.

Until my water broke.

Soon after, with every contraction, his heartrate started dropping.

down
down
down.

You could hear his little heart fading from a strong pound to a weak 60 beats.

Doc comes in and checks my cervix.  I'm still 8cm.  Not enough to start The Great Push, but the baby isn't tolerating my contractions now that his pinata has been popped...

"Let's give her oxygen and flip her to her left side."

For the next several minutes I'm moving to my left -then right- left -then right- side trying to get the baby's heart to come back to baseline.

Doc:  "I can look at this number all day.  But *this* number...I don't like..."

Doc:  "Dad, can you put on these blue scrubs?  Mom, we're going to put on these stockings.  We might need to do a C-section."

With the oxygen masked strapped to my face, a nurse tugging stockings onto my feet and up to my knees, and watching Justin put on his paper blue outfit, I started crying.  My body is shaking and I am scared...

A C-WHAT?!
Why isn't he tolerating the contractions anymore?  What's happening?  What's going to happen?!

I can still hear his heartbeat.  His very. slow. heart. beat.

Another nurse comes into the room and discretely tells the doc she has put the 11:45 c-section on hold.  "In case you need the room."

The room is pretty quiet.  My once jovial, wise-cracking doc is suddenly very focused on the monitors.  My excitement about being able to push soon is replaced by images of a sheet being placed up before me, doc telling me "a little pressure" as they cut me open. 

With every contraction she attempts to dilate my cervix further.

Justin stays by my side, giving me eyes and words of encouragement.  I'm thankful he looks so confident.  As much as I don't want a C-section, I can't stand hearing this slow heartbeat.  I'm on the verge of saying FUCK IT, WHEEL ME OUT NOW!!

But I stay quiet, despite the tears and shaking.  I trust *totally* the team of people around me and I turn when they say turn.  I breathe deeper when they tell me to do so.  Whatever they need me to do, I do.  And I do it immediately and without a word.

At 11:55am, she informs the nurse to go ahead with the scheduled c-section and "Lynsey, pull your knees up, grab behind your knees, roll into a ball...we're going to start pushing..."

And PuSH and PUsH and PusH I did...

"That's it, take a breath....now PUSH PUSH PUSH...he's RIGHT HERE...take a breath...okay PUSH c'mon c'mon c'mon PUSH..."

Seeing as how I was all Epidural'd up, I couldn't really feel much.  At all.  When she said his head was crowning, I reached down and could feel him.  This completely motivated me and I knew that all this effort was going to keep me out of the OR and a baby in my arms in no time.

Another contraction, another 3 pushes and his head was out.  I looked down and was freaked out/amazed at this grey headed creature sticking out of me.  OMG!

Doc suctioned his nose and mouth clear and says, "Yeah, there's the cord wrapped around his neck...one, two, THREE times?!"
She tells me later that she had never vaginally delivered a baby whose cord was wrapped 3 times around its neck.  She also tells me that if it wasn't for me being "such a great pusher" and keeping my cool, she wouldn't have hesitated to wheel me to the OR.  Also, being paired with an experienced -no-nonesense, all business- nurse made this delivery happen the way it did. 

"If you had been freaking out and not able to do what we needed you to do, I would've just wheeled you to the OR.  I'm not going to deal with a patient who can't listen to me and stay calm. Same with the nurse.  If I'm working with a new, inexperienced nurse who is freaking out who, in turn, freaks out the patient, I'll just section the birth.  But you turned when we asked you to turn, you pushed when and how we needed you to push.  But, GIRL, you gave me a few new grey hairs!  You need to pay for my next hair appointment!"

After the baby was delivered (at 12:10pm -only 15 minutes of pushing!) they took him straight to the baby warmer and started in on their exams.

Apgar at 1 minute: 9
Apgar at 5 minutes: 9

August 26, 2011
12:10pm
7 lbs, 12.2 ounces. 
21 inches

And BOY did he cry...big, healthy cries...

And finally he was in my arms
Sigh/Relief/Happy-Surge

the proud pop

Welcome to the World Ari Beckett!!

After some -ahem- repairs they wheel-chaired me up to next floor where I spent the next 2 days bonding/recovering/oooh and ahhing all over my new bundle of lovejoy perfection.

Because just when you think you couldn't love enough...here comes this ray of awesome -shooting straight out of your body and into your life/heart/soul/spirit...

And baby comes with ALOT of paperwork

"I got a cookie!  OH!  And a baby brother..."

Hi, Ari!  I'm your big brother...nice to meet you...

Post-Delivery sushi.  I should think so!
Girl needs her Omega-3s!

With a newborn (again!) But this time it isn't Milo...so weird.  Here he is fresh from his first bath.

12:10pm Saturday: 24 hours old!

The family of four: completed by This Guy!

Woman created Man:  2 TIMES!

Daddy taking his boys for their first walk together...*swoon*

Leaving the hospital with my 2 (TWO!) boys in the backseat...
Let the good times ROLL!

38 weeks + 1 day: Happy Birthday Ari Beckett! (Part One)

So there was an earthquake on Tuesday.  I gave birth on Friday.  And a hurricane Irene came through on Saturday.

It's been a very cool week, man...

Let me sum up a birth story:

Wednesday (at 37 weeks 6 days) I had attended my doc appointment and was measuring 3cm and 75% effaced. The same as the week before.  The lady parts doc had guestimated that she'd see me next week for my 39 week appointment.  I waddled out of that office disappointed.  I felt for sure I'd be giving birth this week. I felt huge, achy, and READY!

The next day, Thursday, I head up to the commisary at the local Air Force base with my trusty grocery store list.  I had bought a copy of the latest Rachael Ray mag and was all inspired to make a month's worth of meals in 1 day.  We were also expecting hurricane Irene to come through the area.  So I'm throwing several gallons of water, 10lbs of pork and chicken, pull-ups, and ice cream into the cart.  I'm going to be well-fed and prepared if I have to stay holed up at home with the fam!

Of course, while I was there I was inspired to use the ladies room and take this picture:

Approximately 26 hours before giving birth

 

Later that night I got a smooch from some handsome guy who was giving our son a bath:

It's like I knew this was my last full day of being pregnant.  Let me take as many pics...

10pm came along and the husb and I decided to call it a night.  I had briefly debated if I wanted to stay up to watch the latest Jersey Shore, but decided I could handle a rerun the next day. Mama was tired...

I woke up around 4am, which was nothing unusual.  Went pee and crawled/scooted back into bed.  I started feeling achy in the hips.  Like hips are pulling apart kind of achy.  I had been feeling this off/on for weeks.  No biggie.  Then the ache came back 10 minutes later.  Then 10 minutes later.  Then again.  I got up again and peed.

This time I came back into the room and dropped to my knees and leaned against the bed.  Justin sits up.

"Are you okay?"

"My hips are just really hurting."

"Should I call the doctor?"

"Let's just see what happens."

I didn't know if this was a pattern.  A truly active-in-labor pattern.  Justin pulls out my phone and starts timing the contractions with my nifty phone app.  Periodically, I walk around the room and then drop down again to hum out the pain.  Next thing I know it's around 530am and I was convinced this was the
Real McCoy of Labor.  I get up brush my teeth and start putting my toiletries in my hospital bag that had been packed for a couple of weeks now.

"We gotta get outta here."

I call the doctor and leave a message that I was having contractions for over an hour, 5 minutes apart and lasting from 45 seconds to 1.5 minutes.

Within a few minutes someone from the doc's office calls me back, gets more info, and let's me know that she'll notify my doctor.

Meanwhile Justin wakes up Milo gets him dressed and tells him, "Mommy and I have go to the hospital.  Your baby brother is going to be here soon!"

"Oh, baby brother!"

Milo doesn't have daycare on Fridays and I was feeling the need to go-go-go to the hospital.  Since my mom lives an hour away I had decided to take my friend up on her offer to "Call me if you need anything" and I called.  At 6am she answers her phone and graciously allows us to drop off Milo.  I call my mom and let her know what's happening. 

By 630am we're barrolling down the road.  40 minutes to the hospital...

I'm breathing, I'm moaning and reminding myself that my water hasn't broken yet and these pains were not the worst to come.  I can handle this.  My body was made just for this. Every song on the radio seemed to be a direct message to me.  From Bob Marley (Could you be loved, and be loved...) to Katie Perry (Do it all again/this Friday night/do it all again...)
The sun coming up over the horizon seemed to be welcoming this new life like a new day.  Every cloud, every bird...(focus/focal points)

Every contraction seemed to take me deeper into more pain.  I tried to remain focused and fully breathe into them.  3 years ago I was so terrified of each contraction.  Each one like Thunder on the Mountain.  I fought them and resisted them and my anxiety seemed to take over making it a thoroughly scary experience.

I didn't want this to be another scary experience.

What seemed to help this go-round was to welcome the contraction, breathe it in and out and when it subsided thank it and send it back to the universe.

"You can have that back"

There something about labor, preparing your body for birth, that brings you into your self, God, mother nature -no matter your spirituality, religion, energy, light, sage burning chanting enlightenment -these moments really make one reach outside yourself as well as deep within yourself- for strength, to be absent of fear, to embrace.

And as soon as the contraction was gone I felt normal, relaxed.  And then it would come back. 

Ebb/Flow, Ebb/Flow, Ebb/Flow

"I can't believe we're doing this.  Today."

 I felt emotional, numb, excited, scared, focused, but mostly thankful that I had my husband next to me and that Milo was safely cared for.

I could focus on my labor.  My husband could focus on me.  And Milo wouldn't have to be scared/confused over what was going on...

We park and head up to Labor and Delivery shortly after 7am.  After a brief check-in and several contractions later I'm hooked up in the triage room.

I'm 5cm and 75% effaced.

"What's your plan for pain management?"

"Lots of it."

"You plan for lots of pain?"

(laughing) "No, I'd like lots of meds to manage my pain..."

I'm still in mild disbelief that this is all happening but also relieved that they don't tell me to "Go walk the halls" to help my labor along.  I was dilated and had a consistent contraction pattern.  I'll be admitted to room 202 thankyouverymuch!

Since cocktail Epidural was on my menu front and center they start the IV.  After my veins had gurgled a full bag of fluids I was able to get the feel-good doctor to come into my room and poke at my spine.

At around 8am the very nice lady from Anesthesia wheels in her magic.  I had an Epi with Milo so I felt confident in the experience.  However, it was a tad more painful than 3 years ago.  The electric shock that resonated on the right side of my body scared the shit out of me.  Ms. Anesthesia guided me through everything she was doing and explained it all.  Apparently, every doc does their own thing when administrating the juice.



Moments after The Great Epidural.  God bless modern medicene!



And then it was chill time (in between texting and calling various family and friends, of course)

 For the next hour I was itching like a crack addict.  She said this is normal and is a side effect from another med that she gives in order to get more immediate relief.  So for an hour I feel The Warm Numb paired with The Annoying Itch.

Soon after, the doc comes in and I can't help myself...

"You were wrong!"

"I told you things can change quickly!"

"Well, you didn't hurt my feelings, I'm glad to be here!"

"You got your epidural...? (notices the wires and such)...oh, yes you did..."

She checks out my cervix and I'm 8cm!

"Let's go ahead and break your water."

"Yeah, might as well...since you're already down there..."

I'm nothing if not classy...

"Damn, flood the room, girl!"

And my doctor is nothing but professional...:)

But after the bag of water was broken...that's when things started going downhill...



waiting...