Fish tail is what I'm calling this current feeling in my utero. There's a fish tail moving in there!! Feeling the slight and faint movements of a 5 inch (estimated) babe brings me even closer to feeling connected -bonded- to this new being. For me, early bonding is extremely important. As each week goes by, attending each appointment, hearing a heartbeat, seeing an ultrasound image, picking a name (still no final answer on that one), and feeling movement -I feel more and more connected to the new life that will enter this family.
When I was prego with Milo I was not as "in the moment." I just wanted to hurry this little pregnancy inconvenience along so I could return to my life, my body, my jeans, and, most importantly, my sushi and wine.
I may have been 30 years old when I gave birth for the first time, but I was -looking back- hanging on to my selfish, inconsiderate, no good, dirty ways.
I guess I'm a late bloomer.
And, although, there's a part of me that is counting down the weeks, I also know, from experience, that this time really is special. Really is fleeting. I'm not taking this for granted. I'm creating someone's husband (hopefully), someone's father (perhaps), someone's friend, someone's cousin, nephew, grandchild...
His story should begin with a grateful mother who is connected -by more than just a cord and blood- but by authentic spirit and love.
Milo brought me a sense of renewal and gratitude. This one, #2, is bringing me into process, the here and now.
Don't be fooled by the calendar. There are only as many days in the year as you make use of. ~Charles Richards
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